Why I don’t believe in…..

I will probably get some flack for this but I don’t follow a single religion, I do however believe in Jesus, I am Saved and have been since July 2005 and I have been baptized (this was my choice and something I wanted to do for me). I don’t read the bible as much as I should but I do pray and thank God for the things that are going good for me.

Growing up we weren’t taught to believe in anything, my parents gave us that choice and even though I never heard about God, I always knew there was one and I prayed a lot as a kid. After I became pregnant with my son, his father & his family were Christians and I decided to follow Christianity. However I do not agree with some things that are in the bible such as being gay is a choice. I don’t believe that, period and no amount of preaching to me will get me to change my mind. You can say I’m going to hell for that, it’s nothing I haven’t heard before.

I have had people tell me I’m not a Christian because I smoke and I’m not a Christian because I do this or do that. Christians I have met are the most judgmental people, they are the first people to tell you what you are doing wrong but are angry when people point out what they are doing wrong. For example there are some Christians that I know personally that will party on Friday & Saturday nights and then sit in Church on Sundays like their shit doesn’t stink.

A couple years ago I went to this church in my city and I also went to a womens bible study, now I ended up moving and didn’t attend the church as much and I decided not to go back when one of my close friends informed me that I was getting bad mouthed by women in the church whom I hadn’t spoken more then a couple of words with.

The only church I had ever felt comfortable in was the one I was baptized at, but it’s not in the city and I have no way to get there. There are certain things that have happened to me that “people of God” like to throw in my face and tell me how un-Christian I am, ya’ll can shove it.

There is only one person that can judge me, so the rest of you can pretend to be perfect on Sunday at Church and judge all you want. God knows who I am on the inside, He knows my heart and only He will judge me.

My head hurts

I generally try not to drink coffee late at night but I have had this super bad migraine since yesterday and it won’t go away, I tried to sleep and went to bed with it, then I woke up with it. Everything is bothering me, the light, the noise from the fan, the noise of the TV, the heat coming from the radiator. I tried to eat, not working. I tried taking a hot shower, not working so I give up. Maybe some hot coffee will break it enough so I can get some sleep. and I guess I will sleep with my cold rice pack tonight, again.

I know what you want

Last night I got a text from someone I hadn’t spoken to since before new years eve, the girl I had plans with to hang with on that day that canceled on me. She started off ranting to me about how she needed to find a new place to live, now months ago before I went through the bullshit I went through with the last friend that needed a place to stay from me and ended up doing all kinds of drugs in my house and stealing from me. This “friend” wanted to come stay with me and I said No.

I don’t like when “friends” just pop up when they need something from me, I told this girl to go and find her own way like I did three years ago. Yes, I did crash with some friends, then I went to a motel and I got my own. It may have been with roommates, but I was paying my own way and eventually I got my own apartment (not the way I would have chosen for myself) but I did.

I’m not dumb, I know where she was going with her text at midnight last night…..not going to happen, I told her there were openings in my building but she didn’t want to move here and I told her why. My apartment is not a a homeless shelter, she’ll have to struggle just as I did. Call me a bitch, whatever I stand by that I am a bitch when I feel like I am being used for something.

This is my life

Apparently in the last week or so, annoying neighbor number one has bought some new audio equipment and her boyfriend (with whom she argues on the phone with at four in the morning) hasn’t been seen in months and I liked it better when he was in there with her as she wasn’t as annoying. Yesterday afternoon I was in my apartment trying to watch a movie when suddenly my apartment was shaking and it wasn’t an earthquake. Just because the radio/cd player CAN go to volumes high enough to shake the building doesn’t mean it SHOULD. I will admit I was a little pissed off that I couldn’t hear my show so I yelled and my apartment stopped shaking.

Now it is four in the morning and normally I would be asleep right now and I’m thinking she just wants to annoy the shit out of me, maybe it’s because back in September said boyfriend came to my door at three in the morning for a cigarette and she thinks I did something with him, I don’t know, but I shouldn’t be able to hear her TV clearly at any time but especially not at FOUR in the morning.

I could complain but management doesn’t care, they have mice living here with us and the owner could care less so why would he care if someone is being loud in the middle of the night. You can get away with pretty much anything in this building;

Neighbors are arguing – okay

Neighbors are killing each other – okay

There is a hallway that everyone calls prostitute lane – seriously

 

As long as the owner gets his rent on time, he doesn’t care and if by some chance you have a medical emergency, I hope it won’t kill you because you’ll be dead by the time the police and ambulance get here. You’d get to the hospital faster if you walked.

I am so annoyed with this building and the people here, if I could move, I would. Last week I even thought about living with roommates again and I don’t have a good track record with roommates, if you live in Buffalo don’t rent at the apartments by the bridge that leads to another country. I heard management tracks down residents who say bad things about this building, maybe they are one of the six people in this damn city who stalks by blog.

Short females complain to much….

I saw a meme on facebook yesterday that I believe came from the whisper app that had me on pause, something about being so short that the sun visor in the car wasn’t any help. Now me being an tall female, who is constantly asked how tall I am every damn time I leave the house, has come to the conclusion females of average or below average height need to take a damn seat some where.

As far as I’m concerned, ya’ll got it made but still find some damn reason to complain. I am sure that you don’t get questions about how tall you are on the daily or have trouble finding clothes long enough. Ya’ll don’t have to spend fifty dollars on pants unless you want too, I am 6’2″ and don’t have a friggin choice unless I don’t want them to fit right or be long enough.

  • If clothes are too long on you, you can get them shortened. If they are too short on me, guess what I’m shit out of luck and I have just wasted my damn time/money.
  • Ya’ll can shop anywhere you want to including online, the only thing I can shop online for is sneakers/shoes.

 

Ya’ll can sit comfortably in a car, I can’t, I have yet to be in a car where my knees aren’t pushed up against the dashboard & my head not hitting the roof. The sun is in your eyes? go buy a friggin pair of sun glasses and shut the fuck up.

I wish I was tall like you

 

Okay, we can trade because I would love to leave my house and have one day where I am not stared at like people never seen a tall female before, asked how tall I am and/or do I play basketball. I am all for trading.

 

You are tall

 

*Blank stare* Thank you for pointing that out, I had no idea. This statement was completely pointless, and I have no idea how to reply and it’s worse that you are looking at me like I should reply.

 

If you see me in public and ask me how tall I am, be prepared for the follow up question when I ask how short you are. Let me answer questions right now? 6’2″ and I don’t play basketball. You aren’t tall unless you are 6’0″ or above.